Bluebird Namastetrying to live the artful yogini life but sometimes getting a little distracted

Yogini Wedding Planning

§ September 27th, 2009 § Filed under Uncategorized § No Comments

Undisturbed calmness of mind is attained by cultivating friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and indifference toward the wicked. (The yoga sutras of Patanjali)

 The mind is everything; what you think, you become. (Buddha)

My wedding is in 3 weeks and one day.  In three weeks from now we will be in Oregon making preparations for the event.  I have a sporadic schedule right now- I teach yoga classes nearly every day and spend a lot of time in my art studio.  I try to structure my time but have noticed, as I posted in my last blog, that it’s been a bit challenging for me to take some time for my own yoga and meditation and even to mindfully prepare a delicious and healthy meal.  This seems more important than ever, so I’m going to use this blog to give some structure to that self care.  Prepare for some regular reports on how this is going as we near the wedding date.  Yep, I’m having the blog hold me accountable!  

Overall, I am happy to report that the wedding planning has gone swimmingly.  Having planned a wedding before, I have something to compare all of this to (that was called off, it was years ago and it was a heinous experience).  Previous wedding planning experiences involved a lot of  unclear decisions, arguments and frustration.  This time it has been, well, kinda easy.  I hope everyone can have such a fun time planning a wedding so that it feels meaningful, enjoyable and most of all, so that the wedding planning doesn’t completely take over your life.  I think the stark differences in the two wedding planning experiences is all based on a positive outlook, which yoga practice can certainly help cultivate.  

1.  Be clear with your intentions.  When you are aware of what you want, it helps push things along and you don’t get distracted.  There is a LOT of wedding information out there, enough to make your headspin until your 20th wedding anniversary.  And a lot of the wedding schwag out there is expensive, frilly and regular looking.  If you are anything like me, you don’t like any of those things.  So know what you want, know what you like and then go for it.  Make a list of those things.  Find some inspiration.  Talk to your partner and loved ones, ask them what kind of style or approach seems to define you.  We (meaning my fiance, my mom and sister in law) decided during our engagement weekend to have a small wedding on the coast so it could be a weekend wedding celebration.  I’m sure we’ve said the word “simple” about our wedding no less than 1 billion times.  That has been the vision and it has fallen into place.  

Wedding shoes and ties for the guys

2.  Find some like minded folks.  Don’t let the Martha Stewart aisle in Michael’s get you down.  You’re going to need to be grounded sometimes.  Find some people who can do that.  Reach out to them.  These can be friends, or even people online.  I’ve sent numerous emails to my stylish friends asking for advice on shoes and boleros. There are also some great websites out there that can helps, such as Offbeat Bride and Wedding Bee.

3.  Know that opening your life up to more may also involve some tension, perhaps even some loss.   In communicating with fellow brides-to-be, it is clear that the transition of engagement in one’s life can sometimes lead to relationships boiling over or even just fizzling out.  Friendships may become strained and family relationships may get weird.  Marriage is an institution full of baggage, more baggage than can be held by any airport terminal ever, anywhere.  Weddings and the thought of weddings makes some so very happy, for instance my old boss was IMing me last night and I tried to ask about her recent surgery.  She responded “Let’s not talk about that, it gets me down.  Let’s talk about the wedding!”  For others, weddings can feel like a bummer, a reminder that they are alone, a reminder that they had a wedding that didn’t end up working out, or they may just feel like a big ordeal to them that isn’t necessary (I have totally been that person before).  Who knows what the deal is.  Set limits with people.  Try to discern when it is something you can do something about and when it may be their own baggage coming into play.  Don’t blame them for it, but you may want to take a step back.  This is a time that you should be happy and fostering contentment for your new life.  Try to absorb the positivity and give less attention to the weirdness that happens.  And believe me, the weirdness happens to many!  

4.  Be thoughtful.  What is the overall focus of your wedding?  Why are you having a wedding instead of eloping or going to the courthouse?  Don’t say it is just because your family wants you to or you will have a miserable time planning this event!  There are so many things people decide to do for a wedding. Try to make this as clear as possible (see #1).  Some say they want a big party.  Others say they want to feel like a princess.  We said we wanted our families to spend time together and we wanted to give everyone a lovely and relaxing weekend.  This has helped with a lot of decisions, from ruthlessly paring down the guest list (that was really hard) to deciding to buy grocery store flowers.  

The lighthouse location for our ceremony. Yes, I know it might rain and be very cold.

5.  Set goals.  The thing with weddings is there are a LOT of details, from your dress to flowers to dinner to accommodations, it is enough to make your head spin.  You can’t hold all of that information in your brain, nor should you.  It ain’t healthy.  Get a notebook and start keeping lists.  Have some scratch paper so you can jot things down during the may wedding planning phone calls.  Set time limited goals for yourself so you can stay on track.  This is SO helpful!  I set a goal for everything, from when I should have my dress to when the rehearsal dinner should be planned.  It feels good when it falls into place.  

6.  Make the planning feel fun.  Weddings can be an excuse for some really fun bonding times with loved ones.  My matron of honor came to Seattle to help me wedding dress shop and asked for me to teach her yoga in our down time.  We had a fabulous time and I will never forget how she said “I love that dress!” and cried when I tried on The Dress.  My mom and I traveled to Oregon in June to make plans for the wedding and had so much fun exploring the town and trying things out.  We were so efficient that we ran out of things to do and went to taste beer at the Rogue Brewery!  

7.  Be accepting.  I’ll be honest.  This isn’t going to always be fun.  Some of this work is really tedious.  Know that you might get a little weird during this whole process.  I won’t soon forget the day I made invitations and my fiance said something about them that didn’t sound completely positive and I got really upset and grumpy.  The tiny, one bedroom apartment we lived in smelled horribly like headache inducing glue, it was a total mess of papers and I hadn’t eaten in hours and hours.  That was not fun, but I powered through and the invitations turned out lovely and we even laughed a bit about it.  

8. Think about the season.  What is your favorite season?  When do you feel so excited and loving?  When would be your favorite time to celebrate?  According to the ancient science of ayurveda, everything from our temperament to our complexion is affected by our dosha, or your mind and body constitution.  This can be influenced (balanced or imbalanced) by diet, season, genetic background, sleep patterns, and so on.  Some people thrive in the warm summer, while others of us may turn pink and wither!  We both love the fall and lucky for us, doing a wedding in the off season means discounts galore on housing, meals, photography, etc.  

9.  Yoga!  Oh yeah and YOGA!  Many of your most valued like minded peeps may be fellow yogis.  Talk to them, it will keep you grounded and sane.  Practice yoga regularly.  If you’ve fallen off of your practice, sign up for a intensive or make a commitment to practice regularly.  Practice lots of heart openers to expand your heart chakra and practice lots of hip openers to relieve anxiety and emotional stress.  

10.  Make time for things that aren’t related to the wedding.  Go on a trip with your fiance.  Have dinner and decide NOT to talk about the wedding.  Try to enjoy time together and not have it be All Wedding All The Time.  Go on a trip with friends, paint a wall a bright color in your bedroom, make that soup recipe you’ve been meaning to try.  Sometimes I think the chaos of wedding planning is a practice run for the challenges of marriage and family.  I mean, really.  What is more stressful- a crying baby at 3 am or table  centerpieces?  

So that’s about it for now.  Good luck to anyone planning a wedding.  Relax when you can and be kind to yourself when you can’t.  I hear it is all worth it in the end!

Powered by Qumana

At Home with your Practice

§ September 21st, 2009 § Filed under Meditation, Yoga § No Comments

Recently, a regular-ish student asked me “Are you done learning yoga and you just teach now?” I was startled by this question and laughed lightly, responding by saying “Nope, I’m always going to be a student”. He has since asked me questions about how I make time to practice on my own AND teach, remarking that it is a lot of time to devote to yoga. When I think of all the weekend trainings, daily sun salutations and the hours spent of sitting on a cushion trying to not think about the pain in my hip, I think well yeah! It is a lot of time, but this focused dedication has so many benefits.

Most of us start out doing yoga in a studio. Once yoga becomes a blissful addiction, you may end up doing things like I did- intensive teacher trainings that involve free studio classes (yoga every day!) or doing administrative work for a studio in order to have free yoga classes. I love taking yoga classes and do a class at least once a week in a studio now. But I aim to practice daily, which often means practicing at home and well, home practice can be very challenging. Distractions creep in from every corner. I’ll meditate after this load of laundry is put in. I’ll salute the sun once I have some tea. It takes discipline to practice regularly. I’m sure that runners will say the same thing. Of course, the more you do it the more it becomes habit. But still, this idea of home practice has been an ongoing challenge for me.

Now that I’m teaching a lot, my home practice often feels geared towards planning a class. I try to let that kind of future oriented thinking leave my mind and be calm and focused, but it can be challenging. I am presently teaching 7 classes a week and the classes vary quite a bit:

I teach one class to the teenagers at the drop in shelter. I don’t plan this class out too much and teach the class based on what is going on with the youth that day. If their energy is through the roof I might give them a more vigorous vinyasa class and then a nice soothing end so they can relax. However, most of the time I keep it pretty basic and try to show them back stretches they can do on the street and let them have a space to just unwind and relax. It is quite common for someone to fall asleep in savasana!
I teach 2 power yoga classes at the hot yoga studio. Part of the challenge is the mixture going on here- the students tend to want to work pretty hard, the class is only one hour long, many of the students are beginners, and the focus of the studio is a fitness oriented approach to yoga. So it is a lot of movement and the meditative, contemplative and philosophical aspects of yoga are toned down quite a bit ( I wonder how students would respond if I OM’d in the class or if we practiced Uddiyanda bandha?). It is fun to teach so many eager beginners but challenging as the class is intended to be quick moving and I want to make sure their form is accurate so as to avoid injury. Plus, even though many feel they can stretch more in the heated room, a warm up and cool down is so necessary and people need to recognize their body’s cues even though the hot room can make you feel loopy. Lots of injuries can occur in a heated room because practitioners will over stretch.
I also teach 2 hatha yoga classes at the hot yoga studio each week. These classes are an hour and a half. The poses taught are held for a longer period of time, usually around 8 breaths. Although the room is heated, I do not teach the Bikram sequence, which is a copyrighted sequence of 26 postures. Because this class is slower moving, it offers more opportunity for exploring the structure of the asana by looking at modification and alignment.
I teach two classes each week at Northwest Community Yoga, a wonderful neighborhood studio where I can OM my heart out with the students. I teach a Level 2 flow class which I try to make rather challenging with a lot of vinyasa and moving towards an inversion of the day. The other class is a Basics/ restorative class which I have been just loving because these poses feel so good, even for the teacher! We do some standing poses and mini sun salutations but mainly focus on holding poses for a long time to encourage relaxation and letting go into the pose. I try to give the students a legs up the wall pose and find a nice juicy modified pose to hold for a while. In yesterday’s class it was Setu bandhasana modified with a block under the sacrum.

So, as you can perhaps tell from this rambling about all of these classes, there are a lot of different things to think about for each class. The focus varies for each place where I teach- from homeless teens to fitness enthusiasts to neighborhood folks hoping to relax a bit after a long work week. The challenge of meeting these diverse needs is stimulating as one who deeply feels that yoga is a life changing practice. Now there is also the fact that I’m trying to work on my meditation practice again and am also taking a weekly class for this.

I believe that the main challenge here is simply to find motivation and structured dedication. Sit and practice each day, even if it feels difficult that day. Stay present. Stay focused on what is happening now. Don’t let distractions get in the way. On the days I do a long and focused home practice I feel calm, energized and so enthusiastic about yoga. It also gives me an opportunity to work on certain poses, which I don’t get to do when teaching or in taking a studio class.

Do you have a home practice as well as a regular studio class, or do you do one or the other? What challenges do you find with your home practice? What benefits do you find in doing a home practice?

Powered by Qumana