Bluebird Namastetrying to live the artful yogini life but sometimes getting a little distracted

No more zombies for Meggerz

§ November 25th, 2007 § Filed under Uncategorized § 4 Comments

Last night I finished the Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. This book is very popular right now and since that’s what we do in this culture, it is being made into a movie now. It is the story of a man who spent his childhood in Afghanistan, fled to Pakistan and finally to America with his father. It tracks the wars in that country, the rise of the Taliban and most of all, is a story about his childhood friendship, enmeshed in guilt and betrayal. It is, in all, a good story- sad and enthralling with an important and tragic historical backdrop. You should read it. It’s good.

I believe I had 3 terrible nightmares on different nights while reading this book. It was violent, it was sad, and there was a lot of information… detailed information… about sexual abuse and children in this book. Now, a story is a story, right?? Last night after I finished it, it dawned on me that perhaps I don’t need to be spending my time reading such things considering I spend 40+ hours a week involved with tragic situations. Sigh.

I used to really like scary movies, tragic books, and I can’t do any of it anymore. I had a nightmare after watching the Simpsons ‘treehouse of horrors’ before Halloween. I’ve become amazingly sensitive to anykind of violent images or ideas. And I think it is okay. I like the idea of encountering such things on a realistic basis, when it is about meaning and not entertainment, but then spending my free time engrossed with things that are fun, magical and relaxing. Its just a change, is all.

Yesterday my roommate and I were talking about sadness and I told her I feel sad all the time. I feel sad about the families I work with every day, I feel sad about what they’ve been through and about what people do to one another. I feel sad about the lack of resources we have, even in this superpower nation, to take care of such situations and instead we create more. I feel sad about this and many other things. She responded by saying that is the experience of a Bodhisattva, or one who has or wants to acheive enlightenment. That person wishes to benefit others, they truly feel the suffering of others and they devote their life to serving others and trying to be a positive force.

Even though I feel sad, I’m not wallowing in it. It is about acknowledging reality. It is not the same as being depressed, which is more rooted in avoidance, it is about being open and tender to the experiences in the world. Then happiness is also a tender and sad feeling, in a way, because it also is temporary, it also can be full of emotion.
The goal, I suppose, with all the many changes and experiences we encounter, is to work on one’s healthy core so that you can be a stable and peaceful presence in the world. I’m not really sure if there is a more meaningful way to live than to do this. I feel very honored to do the work I do, I just simply love it, and I have a lot of support around me to help me and care for me when I need it, or even when I don’t need it. We all like to be cared for!

So, I’m just happy, and sad, and many other things.